What It Means To Be Cupioromantic (& How It Differs From Being Aromantic)

Our romantic desire is the want for emotional and affectionate bonding, while sexual desire is the want for physical intimacy. Maggie McCleary, LGPC, a counselor who specializes in queer services, tells Greatist that "society teaches us to think about relationships in terms of who we want to have sex with, so taking a step back and interrogating who we want to spend time and have romance with can be helpful." In fact, research shows that our neurological responses to sexual desire and romantic desire are entirely different. "Cupioromantic" is a romantic orientation.

Everyone's romantic orientation, no matter their label, will be individually unique. But, in general, Henderson Springs LGBTQ+ Center writes that "cupioromantic describes a person who wants a romantic relationship, but does not feel romantic attraction." This might be someone who does not feel passionately enamored by others but still yearns for the other elements of a romantic relationship. Sex educator Dainis Graveris tells mindbodygreen that a common sign of being cupioromantic is that you don't experience crushes like your friends do. Gerveris adds that cupioromantic folk might enjoy all of the best romantic novels and movies, but have no desire to fall in love themselves. They might be accused of leading on others or being afraid of showing feelings, but this is not the case if you're cupioromantic. No one can make you love them if you don't.