Each Main Character's First & Last Line In The Series

One can see how Two And A Half Men's characters changed or stayed the same by looking at the first and final things they said on the show.

Two And A Half Men, one of the most successful sitcoms ever created, and is full of interesting characters that all add to the humor of the show. Fans get to witness these characters grow over the course of 12 years in their quirky and incredibly amusing ways.

Apart from the characters’ wild antics, the one thing that remains constant throughout the entire series is Charlie’s incredible beach house. This house not only also serves as the setting for the show’s opening and ending scene, but also as the first and last place where fans get to see most of the show’s main characters. It's the setting for many of the show's first and last lines delivered by these characters.

8 Charlie Harper

“Wow. That’s for you right?” - “I guess the guy brings his work home with him. Yep. Tacky. I got it.”

What better way of introducing Charlie’s character on the show than showing him in the bedroom with a woman? Charlie’s first line ever on the show is him appreciating his date’s lingerie, while quickly following it up with a joke. Charlie was often a womanizer with a sense of humor. That remains consistent about his character throughout the series.

Charlie ends his character’s arc on the show dating his stalker Rose and falling prey to her plan. His last line showcases his opinion on Rose’s fake husband, a fib by Rose that finally leads to Charlie’s imprisonment and demise.

7 Alan Harper

“Charlie, it's Alan. Your brother. No big deal, just wanted to touch base. My wife threw me out, and I'm kind of losing the will to live. So, when you get a chance, I'd really love to... I don't know... - “That’s the kind of extravagant thing Charlie would do. Oh, uh, he had a baby grand just like that.”

Of course, Alan Harper’s first line on the show showed him to be self-loathing and in need of a favor. This personality trait of his carries on to the very end of the show, as he just never seems to have his life in order personally or financially.

In the series culmination of Two And A Half Men, Alan is enjoying cigars with Berta and Walden on the sundeck of their beach house when they suddenly notice a helicopter carrying a grand piano. Alan’s last line correctly predicts whose piano they are witnessing and who it’s for, as the helicopter drops the piano on Charlie, instantly killing him in the very next scene.

6 Jake Harper

“Boy, is your eye red” - “No, she’s Japanese. Well, see ya.”

Jake is only ten-years-old in the first season, leading him to be incredibly inquisitive and curious at times. Sure as he grows older he gets more than used to his uncle Charlie waking up hungover every day. However, in the first episode, he is just as surprised as all the viewers when he discovers how red Charlie’s eyes are in the morning.

Jake makes his first appearance since season 10 in the finale of the show just to inform a dumbstruck Alan and Walden he is married in Japan with step kids. In classic Jake fashion, he exits the show with a stupid response and a careless attitude, replying to Alan’s “Is she a pole dancer?” with “No, she’s Japanese,” and a casual, “Well, see ya.”

5 Rose

“Goodnight, monkey man.” - “I’m not gonna stick around to find out what he’s going to do to me just because I loved him too much. Toodles.”

The resident creepy stalker of Two And A Half Men, Rose starts her role on the show by being her usual self and spying on Charlie from his balcony window. As Charlie gets up to go to bed, she looks into the house wishing him a goodnight, without him having any knowledge of her being there.

In the finale, Rose finally comes clean and talks about how she kept Charlie in a pit in her basement until he escaped four years later. Her last line not only reflects her relentless love for Charlie but also her usual creepy self, as she casually runs away from the beach house after confessing to illegally imprisoning him for years.

4 Judith Harper-Melnick

“Alan, sometimes when I think of coming home to you, I start crying in my car.” - “Oh Alan, that is so sweet. Hang on honey, I’m getting another call.”

Alan may have been despised by many characters on the show, but no one found him as annoying as his ex-wife Judith. Staying true to her character, Judith’s first line on the show explicitly showcases how much she hates Alan’s company and why she wants a divorce.

When Charlie starts threatening to kill Alan and Walden in the finale, Alan calls Judith to tell her that if something happens to him, he wants her to know that she was the love of his life. Judith, in her typical fashion, doesn’t seem to care much for Alan and hangs up the call by lying about getting another one.

3 Evelyn Harper

“And isn’t that something to brag about?” - “Walden I loved you like a son. Alan, good luck.”

Evelyn Harper could not have a more perfect first line on the show. From her very first appearance, she makes it clear to the viewers that she isn’t a regular mom. She always undermines any achievements earned by her sons and is never truly appreciative of their efforts.

After hearing Charlie’s threats in the finale, Evelyn makes a run for it along with Rose. Before leaving, she stays true to her pilot self by not showing any love for either of her sons. While she tells Walden she loves him, she simply wishes Alan good luck in dealing with Charlie’s revenge.

2 Berta

“You lied to me Charlie. You said it was just going to be the two of us.” - “Someone’s having a piano delivered by a Helicopter.”

Much like Charlie, Berta found Alan to be a huge nuisance and hated that he moved into the Malibu beach house. Her very first line on the show shows her disdain and how annoyed she is with having to clean after two more people, though it's not like she did much cleaning ever anyway.

Berta ends her role on the show happily smoking cigars with her employees in true Berta fashion, realizing she is in the best place she can be. She is the first one to notice the piano that ultimately kills Charlie, pointing out to it in her final line on the show.

1 Walden Schmidt

“Can I use your phone?” - “You don’t think that it’s possible that the cops got the wrong guy do you?”

Walden Schmidt enters the show with a bang. Fresh off a suicide attempt in the cold Pacific Ocean, he lands on Charlie’s balcony, only to scare Alan and cause him to drop Charlie’s ashes all over the floor. His very first line may ask only for a simple favor but ends up being the reason he buys the beach house and becomes best friends with Alan.

Walden ends the show lounging beside his best friend Alan and housekeeper Berta. He ends his last dialogue delivery on the series by correctly wondering if the piano headed their way is meant for Charlie.

NEXT: Two And A Half Men: 5 Ways The Finale Was Great (& 5 It Was A Disappointment)

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